One of the most persistent lies that single people are fed — by culture, by well-meaning family, and sometimes even by the church — is that they are incomplete. That they are “half a person” waiting for their other half. That their real life has not yet started.
Amos Kevin-Annan confronts this narrative head-on in this honest and encouraging talk. He poses a question that cuts through the noise: Are you alone — or are you better together with yourself first?
The Difference Between Loneliness and Aloneness
- Loneliness is an emotional state — a painful sense of disconnection and being unseen. It can happen in a crowd, in a marriage, or anywhere.
- Aloneness is a relational status — and it is not inherently negative. Many of the most impactful people in history did their most important work from a place of purposeful singleness.
The goal, Amos teaches, is not to eliminate aloneness as quickly as possible — but to master it. To become someone who is at peace with themselves, whole in their identity, and fruitful in their season.
Three Things to Build While You Are Single
- A settled identity. Know who you are — your values, your calling, your non-negotiables — before you intertwine your life with someone else. A person who does not know themselves is easily moulded by whoever they are with, and that is a fragile foundation for any relationship.
- Emotional health. Unresolved wounds, unprocessed grief, and unexamined patterns do not disappear when you enter a relationship — they intensify. Your single season is the ideal time to do the inner work: counselling, coaching, honest conversation with trusted friends.
- A purposeful life. The most attractive person in a room is not the most physically beautiful — it is the one who is deeply engaged with something meaningful. Purpose is magnetic. Build yours now, and you will enter any future relationship as an asset, not a liability.
Better Together — But Only If You Are Already “Better”
Amos is not anti-marriage or anti-relationship. He is one of Ghana most sought-after voices on the topic of marriage and family. His point is simply this: two incomplete people do not make one complete couple. They make one complicated mess.
The work of becoming better together starts with becoming better alone. It starts with the honest, sometimes painful, deeply rewarding journey of self-knowledge, healing, and purpose.
If you are single today, this is not your waiting room. This is your formation room. Watch the full session above and take notes — this talk could change the way you see your season.
Hearts and Habits Foundation runs the Singles in 3-D programme specifically for single individuals. Visit our Programs page to learn more.